just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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