I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
