don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
