I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
