Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
