Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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