butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It's Friday. Sex?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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