He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
third nipple confirmed
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
