Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize