Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
