I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
