hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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