I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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