His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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