Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
