if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Fuck appropriateness.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
