He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
