i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
