i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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