My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize