...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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