the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
