Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
