the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
