Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
