Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
