I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
