She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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