he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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