that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
