Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
