Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
