she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
