i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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