ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
