I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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