Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize