the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
