Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
did i just pee glitter
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
