Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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