Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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