No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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