I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
you had me at cake vodka
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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