Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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