Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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