Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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