But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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