they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
