Midget sex pt 2 tonight
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
