Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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