I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
