Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
