when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Still dying that you shit outside
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
