u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
