It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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