I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
