Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
