yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
