smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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