I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
