My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
