K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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